Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -42

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

An irish man walks into a bar... Hes met with an intervention of family and friends who are all very concerned about his drinking problem and well being.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

thumb_up thumb_down -60

To mamma so fat..............nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down -60

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

thumb_up thumb_down +57

whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops