Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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John lazzaro likes dick

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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my mind's eye?

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Maths.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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