what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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diarrhea.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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