What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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