Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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no rasist joks

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what's black? a lot of things.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Amazing

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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