Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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