My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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it's funny because it's funny

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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minorities.....

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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