sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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