Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops