Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

Knock, Knock! Go away!

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

A muslim walks out of a plane.

what did the man say to the other man? hey

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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