How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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