Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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