What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops