If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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thomas!!!!

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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