If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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flavin's head

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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