Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops