A woman is carried out of a bar.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Caramel Boing.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops