Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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