Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops