Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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White men's rights

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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