Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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