Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops