What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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