Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops