Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

smell the vitamin C

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This is sparta No this is patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

identical jokes get different votes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops