Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops