you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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ure mama's so fat

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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