Where can I apply for janitor school?

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

LET

Have you heard the tale of the black knight on the black horse? Well, the black knight on the black horse rode up to the castle of the king and was stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the ruby from the ruby dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the ruby dragon and the ruby dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your ruby so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and decides to give the black knight on the black horse the ruby (it was a kind dragon). So the black knight on the black horse rides back to the castle and is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the emerald from the emerald dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the emerald dragon and the emerald dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your emerald so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and decides to give the black knight on the black horse the emerald (it was a kind dragon). So the black knight on the black horse rides back to the castle and is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and the emerald from the emerald dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the diamond from the diamond dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the diamond dragon and the diamond dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your diamond so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and says no. So they fight for three days till the black knight on the black horse slays the diamond dragon and rides back to the castle with the diamond. He is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and the emerald from the emerald dragon and the diamond from the diamond dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her, go upstairs and ask her.” So the black knight on the black horse goes upstairs and knocks on the princess’s door and she calls out, “Who goes there?” He replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, will you marry me?” and she said, “No.”

A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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