The lion swallowed his pride.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Your mom.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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