Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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