What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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My Butthole.

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I'm sn otter

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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you see theres this guy.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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feminists.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops