What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

lol im s0 gut at spelign at engrish N u laughd n liekd diZ funi joek XDD u most LUV LE MEMEZ n EMOtikons Lol (^-^) y u guyz so st00p1d at math Wtf???!?!? 1+1=8 i m soooo smurt hahaha I <3 warrior cats n dance 2 gangnum stail wile masturbatin 2 swagbois le raeg comicz ;3!! . And now you are dying of cancer.

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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