Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats long and black? a baton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

guy walks into a bar, ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops