Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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Blacks

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Womens basketball

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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