What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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a. why? b. because

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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anti-joke.com

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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