How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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boys

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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