Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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