Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

Irish sobriety

Two women were sitting quietly.

What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Ebola

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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