What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ily bae

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

25

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

thumb_up thumb_down -7

world society

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops