knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops