How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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