Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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I C U P White stuff

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Neither did she.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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