What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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There's a god, just kidding.

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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