Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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Gay republicans

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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