Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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