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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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