Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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hola said the chinese man

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops