Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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There was a white kid named Tyrone.

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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