What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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69

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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so...um, yeah

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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