What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Bob Saget

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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