Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops