How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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