Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops